Holidays are often stressful times, and for those who have complex or disordered relationships with food, holidays can be particularly anxiety-provoking. Here are some suggestions for how to cope with the holidays, soothe yourself, and manage your thoughts and behaviors. 

Remember this acronym: H.A.L.T.

Hungry, Angry, Lonely, Tired. During the holidays, we might experience all of these things, and all of these things are potential triggers for disordered eating. We are more likely to overeat, restrict, or engage in other disordered eating habits if we are overly hungry, feeling angry with family members, feeling lonely if we can’t see our family members, or feeling tired from the overall exhaustion of this pandemic. 

So how do you deal with all of these things?

Stick With Your Normal Eating Schedule

First, don’t switch up your regular eating schedule. If you normally eat breakfast, eat breakfast on Thanksgiving. Restricting food earlier in the day can contribute to overeating (or continued restricting) during the Thanksgiving meal. Set yourself up for success by sticking to your regular meal patterns as much as possible. 

Support and Accountability

If there is someone you trust there with you at the meal, ask them for support and accountability. Disordered eating thrives on secrecy, so don’t be afraid to ask for help from someone you trust. If you are unable to see your family and friends during the holidays at all due to COVID, take some time to identify several people you can reach out to by phone/video, as well as a list of coping skills you can use to reduce urges to binge eat, overeat, restrict, or purge at home during the holiday. 

Change Your Focus

If you find yourself obsessively thinking about food and planning your meal, shift your focus outward and concentrate on connecting with other people. Ask questions, share thoughts and feelings, participate in activities. Before you attend any holiday gathering, remember to have a tentative plan: are you going to avoid discussing politics? Are you going to have a time limit? If that time limit is up, what is your plan for after the event? How will you handle it if someone comments on your eating or your appearance? Attempt to think through these scenarios beforehand. 

Self Care

Take time to rest during these holidays, if you are able. During this year of uncertainty, it can be hard to relax and truly be still and rest our bodies and minds. Identify self-soothing activities that help (hot bath, hair or skin routine, heating pads, scented candles, walks in nature, etc.) and give yourself the gifts of rest and restoration.

Relax and Enjoy Yourself

If you have been attempting to lose weight or reduce your overeating, give yourself permission to eat what you want on Thanksgiving. Giving yourself some grace to enjoy the meal can help reduce shame. Do not look at Thanksgiving as a “last hurrah” before you finally adhere to strict diet, and don’t look at it as a lapse if you’ve been on a diet—just see it as a communal holiday during which you will enjoy a meal with others. With COVID-19, maybe Thanksgiving gatherings will either be limited in size or put on hold. If you are just eating with a very small group (for example, your immediate family) and there is no one you trust to support you at the meal, consider who you can reach out to by phone. If you don’t have a friend to support you, reach out the National Eating Disorders Association support line: https://www.nationaleatingdisorders.org/help-support/contact-helpline

Support is confidential and free.